Dear Stomach, STFU

I have to just get this off my chest. No one wants to hear me whine about it in person or over the phone, but it's driving me crazy so I have to get it out somehow. I know that most of you know that I had that EGD last week, and the results came in. There were no physical problems that they saw, and the biopsy of my small intestines came back clean. That may sounds good, but that means that they still don't know what's wrong with me.

It's been almost four months since this started. Do you know how much it sucks when every time you start to eat, your stomach freaks out and threatens to make you puke it back up? To feel nauseous after every meal? To not be able to eat in public, not be able to go out with friends anymore, not be able to drink wine or coffee or eat cheese or yogurt? To have NO IDEA what the fuck is wrong with you and just want someone to tell you what it is, even if it's AWFUL, just so you know that it can go away and get better? 

It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to leave my house too soon after eating in case I get sick. I'm scared to be in a car after eating. I've cut out so many of the foods I love to no avail. I just want to be normal again. Where is Dr. House when you need him?

And to top it all off, my "follow up" appointment with the GI specialist is in more than a month. So I have to wait until April 24th to even meet with him again to discuss further possible problems. This is bullshit. At this rate, I'm not going to be able to attend my own wedding because I won't be able to eat all day and I'll pass out or I will eat and then vomit all over the wedding party.

Fuck this bullshit. AND NOW I'M MAD.