Dear Stomach, STFU

I have to just get this off my chest. No one wants to hear me whine about it in person or over the phone, but it's driving me crazy so I have to get it out somehow. I know that most of you know that I had that EGD last week, and the results came in. There were no physical problems that they saw, and the biopsy of my small intestines came back clean. That may sounds good, but that means that they still don't know what's wrong with me.

It's been almost four months since this started. Do you know how much it sucks when every time you start to eat, your stomach freaks out and threatens to make you puke it back up? To feel nauseous after every meal? To not be able to eat in public, not be able to go out with friends anymore, not be able to drink wine or coffee or eat cheese or yogurt? To have NO IDEA what the fuck is wrong with you and just want someone to tell you what it is, even if it's AWFUL, just so you know that it can go away and get better? 

It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to leave my house too soon after eating in case I get sick. I'm scared to be in a car after eating. I've cut out so many of the foods I love to no avail. I just want to be normal again. Where is Dr. House when you need him?

And to top it all off, my "follow up" appointment with the GI specialist is in more than a month. So I have to wait until April 24th to even meet with him again to discuss further possible problems. This is bullshit. At this rate, I'm not going to be able to attend my own wedding because I won't be able to eat all day and I'll pass out or I will eat and then vomit all over the wedding party.

Fuck this bullshit. AND NOW I'M MAD.

Lenten Update

Well, it's been almost 3 weeks since the beginning of Lent, and I've successfully kept up my resolutions. I haven't stepped on the scale ONCE since before Ash Wednesday, and I've exercised at least 30 minutes everyday (minus my procedure day). It's actually really nice to not stress about the number I'm going to see on the scale every Thursday morning. Even after Lent, I might change my routine to weighing only once a month; it's so nice to just focus on my eating and exercise goals and feel better about myself.

I did set a goal of weighing under 180 lbs by the end of Winter Quarter so I will step on the scale once during Lent just to see if I met that goal. I'll probably do that either this Thursday or Sunday, only because Spring Break is the following week and my fiance is coming. I'm sure I won't be keeping track of calories, but I will keep up my 30 minutes everyday! The weather has been so nice lately that I'm sure we will be doing lots of hiking and walking around while he's here (assuming it stays this way).

Just wanted to write something since it's been a while. Cheers!

Hello Spring!

Okay, that title may be a little preemptive, but it is SO GORGEOUS outside today that I knew Spring has to be just around the corner. It's 60s and sunny, with a nice breeze. I'll take it! Because it was so nice outside, I couldn't fathom working out in the gym. I tried to figure out where to run, whether to drive to Wash Park or just run around campus or drive to a new park. Instead of wasting time, I just set off down Asbury Ave. I kept a slow pace so I could run the whole 30 minutes without stopping (minus stoplights) and ended up running all the way to Clarkson. Then, I turned around and headed back.

In total, I ran 2.23 miles in 29 minutes and 45 seconds. It felt great! I'm trying to get in some good workouts before Tuesday since I have to take a rest day after my procedure and might have to take it easy on Wednesday as well. We'll see...

NOW STOP READING THIS BLOG AND GO OUTSIDE! Geez :)